I am sure you have heard that our group, The Nu Romantics, is a year old now. And boy, what a year it has been! It wasn't until the planning of the one year celebration that I realized where we started and how far we have come, as individuals and as a group. Day-to-day, I didn't realize all our group does, but upon reflection, I realized we do a LOT! To give you an idea, here are some of our features: Share Anything Sunday Kinky Korner NuRCinephilia MakeMeRead Tuesday Tips Empath/Tune Tuesday Seb's Wide-Open Wicked Wednesday Book Corner Thrilling Thursday Thursday Blog Share Thoughtful-Edit Thursday FreeForAll Friday Micro Short Friday Celebrate Saturday with L.A.P.H. (Literature, Art, Photography, History) NuRHorizons Poetry Live Writes Author Spotlights Paired Live Writes Open Posting for Poetry... See? I told you it was a lot. And that isn't even everything we have done. That is just the list for what we currently offer in the group. But one thing you need to know is, even with all the features and the membership numbers, the most important thing our group offers is support. We lift one another up, encourage each other, and we GROW! As people, as artists, and as a group -- romantics. You really can't find another place to compare to that. Yes, some have come and gone because Nu Romantics wasn't what they were looking for... yet. Some have returned to us. But, there are so many incredibly talented people (some share their talent with us daily while others are still hiding their skills) who have stayed and helped us become what we are... and are moving forward with us to where we will be next year and the year after, and the year after. Now, after sharing with you just how great Nu Romantics is, I want to get a little personal and tell you what is means to me, and where we started... If you know me, or have read my blogs, then you know my story. So I will not rehash all of it. I will just say that I am working on myself every single day. And each day, I feel better, stronger, and grow more confident. They say you need a tough skin to be out there, and I am working on conditioning mine. Three years ago now (early 2015), I was approached by a person on Twitter who said they were starting a website featuring indie authors. The person asked me if I would allow them to feature my work, excerpts, short stories, bio. I said yeah. Why not, right? Anything to spread the word and get my work out there (that is a story for another day). Well, a few months after having my first story featured on the person's website, they started a group on Twitter. A writing group, so to speak. There were just a handful of us "unknowns." We came from different walks, different levels of experience, but with a combined goal to support each other and help get the word out. Over the course of a year, more and more writers (some published, some not) were added to this group. And like with any group, there were those who decided to move on while others stayed. It was in this group where I connected more with Rosemary O'Brien. I had chatted with her prior to joining this group (she even approached me to ask my thoughts on the group when the person running it asked her to join), but it wasn't until she joined that I really got to know the beautiful, sensitive, talented person she is. She quickly became one of my best friends in that group (she still is). There were a few of us who strengthened our bonds of friendship because of this group, and that is the reason I can't regret my time there. It was also through this group that I met Mystk Knight (Sherry White). I should say, first, it was via or mutual love of Shibari that we connected, and we got to know each other even better once she was brought into our fold. Mystk is one incredible woman (I HAD to share that). Some of you may know which group I am referring to. Many of you have been with us almost since the beginning of our time there. And for that, I love you and am so grateful for you and your support and friendship. Back to the story... After over a year of this group growing and adding more and more people, the safety, security, and the closeness and support we all once felt began to dwindle. It began to feel like less and less of a support group (as it was in the beginning) and turned to more of, well... I will refrain from stating what I felt it turned into. Rosemary writes beautiful blog posts, and I am sure you have read a few, but she wrote one that connected with many, many people. And that blog post was what inspired a few of us to brainstorm ideas for a group of our own. A group that was truly a support group for everyone, not just one or two people in the group. We wanted a place where people could feel comfortable and everyone was on level with one another, where we could change the opinion people had of what erotic and romance were. We wanted to show the world that those two elements are part of life every day! Because art is subjective, right? So, Sherry, Rosemary, myself, and our other bestie shot around a few ideas. We detailed what we thought we loved about the group we started in, and what we were lacking in that group. We came up with ideas to include everyone, and to help people grow and find their strengths and talents. We combined our love of romance, eroticism, writing, music, and history to design daily posts celebrating each of those. Then, we came up with our mission - our goal. We outlined our expectations and plans. Next came our name. That was also inspired by music (another form of art). You may have heard of the song by Taylor Swift. LOL And the final piece: Starting the group! We didn't exactly plan which day, and we kept procrastinating when to open ours and make our exit from the other group. Needless to say, due to circumstances we didn't foresee, that decision to leave the other group happened on their own when the founder of that group got word of what we were planning, stating our group was a conflict of interest... So, each of us posted our goodbyes, thanking fellow members for their support and offering our continued friendship to them. And you know what? That friendship is still there for so many of us! That is what happens when people put their love of the written word, their love of art, above personal feelings. You find like-minded people who enjoy seeing others succeed... and that is what my friends do. They succeed, they support, and they love. Within a week of that happening (the exit), we officially opened up the Nu Romantics! We started small, but have grown over the year. We have added people to our admin team because we just couldn't keep up with our daily lives and the responsibilities of the group (we have Facebook, G+, Twitter, Medium, Instagram, and a website). We love having that be the problem, too! It means we have met even more people who love what we do! I look forward to reading, listening, and seeing everything everyone shares in the group. I love the fact that, no matter what my emotional state, I can find something in there to connect with. Whether I am happy, feeling sorry for myself, lacking in confidence, feel like crying -- no matter what I am feeling, there is someone there who is feeling it, too! I am never alone when I am browsing the Nu Romantics. And for that, I love each of you and appreciate you. I am so excited to have started such an amazing group with my best friends. I am grateful for all the friends I have made along our journey. This past year was only the first of many, many amazing years to come! Thank you, ALL, for walking this road with us, and for making the Nu Romantics what it is. (I share with you a video from YouTube)
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When I was younger, and even now, women and men did their best to hide their flaws. They wear makeup, tan, wear long-sleeved shirts, pants in warm seasons, and dye their hair to hide the natural fading color as they age. Women and men apply lotions and creams to prevent wrinkles, looking for another way to hold on to their youth. And scars? Well, those could "fade" with the right serum, right? And those are only the physical. How about the emotional or mental "scars" and imperfections? A broken heart, emotional abuse, self-doubt - those are hidden behind humor and smiles. It is almost an art form the way so many perfect the ability to close themselves off to the world and hide behind that curtain/wall they have designed to protect themselves from further damage. I know this, because I do this myself. While I have written about my life and the things I have endured in my blog in posts like Confidence and Priceless, I still struggle with my own self-preservation needs. But, I have begun to rethink those methods we all use. In the news, daily, it seems, I hear or read of another young child or teen who thought suicide was the way out. They decided to end their precious lives (their way of dealing with the "imperfections" and "flaws") to stop the hateful torment they endured. They didn't yet experience (and neither will we ever) the great things they could have or would have done. And that breaks my heart even more because what one person sees as bad, another sees as great. What one person sees as their negative characteristic, another person would love to have. "One man's trash is another man's treasure." -- right? Well, I am sure you have seen those posts going around on social media speaking of the Japanese belief that if something is broken, it doesn't lose its value and is not tossed out, rather, it is repaired using precious metals such as gold or silver to repair, put back together, and is thought as valuable and part of the object's history. This art form is called Kintsugi. And those posts, and reading the details of Kintsugi, I realized we thought wrong. We teach our kids wrong. We are doing a great disservice to the young people by covering and hiding. We should be teaching them to embrace those scars, talk about the heartache, and trust, love, and appreciate themselves and their journey because everything they are going through (everything we have gone through) only adds knowledge, richness, and value to each of us. We are valuable. Our journey is a testament to survival. Our stories are lessons that can be passed down. Our scars speak of all those, whether physical or emotional, and those are important to who we are. We need to shine! I want to shine. I don't want to be so bright that I blind people... I just want to shine enough to help them find their way. And that is why I want to be broken. Those are the reasons I am okay with my scars, flaws, and imperfections... because to someone, somewhere, they can be a lesson. They are part of my story. |
Ashlee Shades
Ashlee loves sharing a piece of her mind - and her heart - in her blog posts. She hopes you enjoy the musing. Archives
February 2020
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