When I was younger, and even now, women and men did their best to hide their flaws. They wear makeup, tan, wear long-sleeved shirts, pants in warm seasons, and dye their hair to hide the natural fading color as they age. Women and men apply lotions and creams to prevent wrinkles, looking for another way to hold on to their youth. And scars? Well, those could "fade" with the right serum, right? And those are only the physical. How about the emotional or mental "scars" and imperfections? A broken heart, emotional abuse, self-doubt - those are hidden behind humor and smiles. It is almost an art form the way so many perfect the ability to close themselves off to the world and hide behind that curtain/wall they have designed to protect themselves from further damage. I know this, because I do this myself. While I have written about my life and the things I have endured in my blog in posts like Confidence and Priceless, I still struggle with my own self-preservation needs. But, I have begun to rethink those methods we all use. In the news, daily, it seems, I hear or read of another young child or teen who thought suicide was the way out. They decided to end their precious lives (their way of dealing with the "imperfections" and "flaws") to stop the hateful torment they endured. They didn't yet experience (and neither will we ever) the great things they could have or would have done. And that breaks my heart even more because what one person sees as bad, another sees as great. What one person sees as their negative characteristic, another person would love to have. "One man's trash is another man's treasure." -- right? Well, I am sure you have seen those posts going around on social media speaking of the Japanese belief that if something is broken, it doesn't lose its value and is not tossed out, rather, it is repaired using precious metals such as gold or silver to repair, put back together, and is thought as valuable and part of the object's history. This art form is called Kintsugi. And those posts, and reading the details of Kintsugi, I realized we thought wrong. We teach our kids wrong. We are doing a great disservice to the young people by covering and hiding. We should be teaching them to embrace those scars, talk about the heartache, and trust, love, and appreciate themselves and their journey because everything they are going through (everything we have gone through) only adds knowledge, richness, and value to each of us. We are valuable. Our journey is a testament to survival. Our stories are lessons that can be passed down. Our scars speak of all those, whether physical or emotional, and those are important to who we are. We need to shine! I want to shine. I don't want to be so bright that I blind people... I just want to shine enough to help them find their way. And that is why I want to be broken. Those are the reasons I am okay with my scars, flaws, and imperfections... because to someone, somewhere, they can be a lesson. They are part of my story.
2 Comments
3/29/2018 11:02:08 pm
Well said Ashlee! I absolutely concur and I have many scars both physical and emotional.
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Ashlee Shades
Ashlee loves sharing a piece of her mind - and her heart - in her blog posts. She hopes you enjoy the musing. Archives
February 2020
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